101 Ways to Annoy Fire Nation Royalty
by Rose0404
Summary: Warning: Author isn't responsible for death, injury, accidents etc. resulting of annoying these characters. ATTEMPT AT OWN RISK! No ATLA characters were harmed during the making of this story...much. COMPLETE!
1. Annoying Zuko

101 Ways to Annoy Zuko

1. Call him Zuzu.

2. Tell Sokka Zuko thinks he's "yummy-licious!"

3. Tell Aang Zuko thinks he's "yummy-licious!"

4. Tell Azula Zuko thinks she's "yummy-licious!"

5. Poke him.

6. Repeatedly.

7. If he asks you to stop, poke him in a different area.

8. Repeat.

9. Then, do the same thing, only this time poke him with a stick.

10. Every time you enter a room that he's in, yell, "SAY WHAT?!"

11. Tell Uncle Zuko wants him to take him tea shopping.

12. Laugh at his misery.

13. Dye his hair pink.

14. All of it. (That includes chest hair, etc.)

15. Laugh at him.

16. Get your friends to laugh at him too.

17. Call him Pinky.

18. Yell random phrases such as, "PURPLE LLAMAS!" "CHICKEN BUTT!" etc.

19. Yell them in his ear.

20. If he slaps you, laugh hysterically for 5 seconds, then drop down and play dead.

21. Wake him up at 2 am, because flying llamas are attacking.

22. Then go, oh wait, that's just Momo.

23. Ask him to juggle for you.

24. Quietly hum, "It's a small world after all." next to him.

25. Follow him around, making faces behind his back.

26. When he looks over his shoulder, hide.

27. Repeat for several hours, until he goes insane.

28. Laugh at his insanity.

29. Throw a bucket of ice water at him.

30. Throw the bucket at him.

31. If he gets mad say, "I just wanted to cool ya down, Hotstuff."

32. Then, kiss him.

33. Next, say, "You suck at kissing." before randomly disappearing.

34. Shave his head.

35. Draw an arrow on his head like Aang's in permanent marker.

36. Call him Aangy-poo until his hair grows back.

37. Call him Princey Boy.

38. Call him Prince Asshole.

39. Call him Princess.

40. Call him Missy.

41. Call him Hothead.

42. Spit in his food.

43. Hum the Jaws theme song.

44. Follow him around humming it.

45. Don't let him see you.

46. Draw a mustache on him while he sleeps.

47. Draw a goatee too.

48. And a unibrow.

49. Braid his hair.

50. Dye it blond.

51. Dress him up in a pink dress and tutu.

52. Wake him up, and tell him he's gonna be late for his date with Mai.

53. Laugh when he gets there with in a dress, tutu, blond hair, mustache, and goatee.

54. Yank his ponytail.

55. Tell him it makes him look like a girl.

56. Tell him it makes him look like Sokka.

57. Hit him in the head with Sokka's boomerang.

58. Shave his legs while he sleeps.

59. Cut off all his pants at mid thigh length.

60. Laugh at his shaved legs.

61. Tell Uncle he wants to play the Sugi horn for Music Night.

62. Invite everyone to watch.

63. Wash his (silk) clothes, and then dry them. 'Cuz they'll all shrink...

64. Ditto with his boxers.

65. When they're shrunk, say, "Just a little smaller, and they'll fit..."

66. Ignore him.

67. Completely.

68. Every time you see him, snicker quietly.

69. If he asks why you're snickering, say, "Oh, it's -snicker- nothing. -snicker"

70.Refuse to tell him, no matter how much he pleads, begs, or asks.

71.Finally, when he's groveling, tell him it's because you have a medical condition.

72. Snicker again.

73. Run around in circles screaming about baby chicken-lion-panda-moose cubs.

74. At 2 AM.

75. Have Toph make the ground swallow him from the neck down.

76. Then read him stories about Zukaang.

77. Then read him stories about Zokka.

78. Next, it's AzulaxZuko!

79. Beat him at Pai Sho.

80. Repeatedly.

81. Spill tea on him.

82. Spill _hot_ tea on him.

83. Touch his swords.

84. Use them to cut your meat.

85. Use them to cut down a tree.

86. Push him in a lake.

87. Full of piranhas.

88. Run like hell when he gets out.

89. Sneak up behind him and yell, "BOO!"

90. Put shaving cream in his shoes.

91. Spray Essence of Moose on him.

92. Put make up on him while he sleeps.

93. Kick him in the shins, yell, "Die, Demon!" and then run like hell.

94. Get Appa to lick him.

95. Push him into a mud hole.

96. Do an evil-Barbie-doll smile whenever you see him.

97. Dip his boxers in meat juices.

98. Sick a pack of vicious Chihuahuas on him.

99. Tell everyone he's gay.

100. Review.

101. Repeat steps 1-100 every day for the rest of **EVER!!**

* * *

**a/n: Rose0404: I just _had_ to write this! Oh, and every time you don't review:**

**For Zutara fans: Aang and Katara kiss. MY EYES!! THE KATAANG-NESS!!**

**For Kataang fans: Zuko and Katara kiss. IT BURNS!!**

**For neither: Someone near you gets lemurpox. SAVE YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY BY REVIEWING!!**

**Zuko: I'd like to have a word with you, Rose0404!**

**Rose0404: Oh, crap! -runs-**

**Zuko: Get back here! -chases-**


	2. Pissing Off Ozai It's fun!

101 Ways to Piss Off Ozai

1. Call him Asslord.

2. Call him Moron.

3. Use words with more than two syllables around him.

4. Steal his happy pills...

5. Replace them with laxative pills...

6. Hide all the toilet paper...

7. Wait.

8. Do the chicken dance next time you see him.

9. "_I don't wanna be a chicken, I don't wanna be a duck, so I'll shake my butt!_"

10. Blackmail him into doing it with you.

11. If he doesn't, kill his teddy bear, Mr. Pookie.

12. Kill it anyway.

13. -cough-gay-cough-

14. Keep doing that for a few hours. See where it gets ya...

15. After you escape from the dungeons, dye all his clothes pink.

16. Steal all his cheese.

17. Eat it mockingly in front of him.

18. Short sheet his bed.

19. Sing "We will rock you!"

20. Don't stop. Ever.

21. Tell him his ponytail makes him look gay.

22. Tell him his ponytail makes him look like Zuko.

23. Pay Toph 50 gold pieces to use her earthbending to trip him every five seconds.

24. Spray him with essence of bread.

25. Push him into a lake.

26. With turtleducks in it.

27. Laugh when they peck him.

28. Sell him on Ebay.

29. Sell the Fire Nation on Ebay.

30. Put itching powder in his clothes.

31. Replace his cologne with perfume.

32. Spray him with a water gun whenever he's mean, saying, "Bad Asslord! Bad!"

33. Tie him to a chair and sing the Barney song, "I Love You" over and over again.

34. Tell him the Avatar is right behind him.

35. Follow him around wherever he goes.

36. Don't let him see you.

37. Laugh when he goes (even more) insane.

38. Call him peasant.

39. If he starts talking about some respect shit, say, "Respect this!" and pants him.

40. Laugh at his pink Happy Bunny boxers.

41. Run like hell.

42. Sing, "_I know a song that gets on Asslord's nerves, Asslord's nerves, Asslord's nerves, and this is how it goes! I know a song..._" You get the point.

43. Follow him around singing it.

44. Trip him.

45. Repeatedly.

46. Tie him to a chair, and dye his hair pink.

47. In permanent dye. PERMANENT!

48. Sign him up for therapy.

49. And how does that make you _feel_, Lord Asshole?

50. Flip him off.

51. Say, "Screw you, bitch!"

52. Run. Fast. Don't stop.

53. Ask him why he sucks so bad.

54. Ask him why he's such a bitch.

55. Shave his head.

56. Doodle on his—now bald—head.

57. Shave off his eyebrows.

58. Draw new ones an inch higher than they're supposed to be.

59. Pour water on him.

60. Start a food fight in the Royal Dining Hall.

61. Start it by flicking mashed potatoes in his face.

62. Burn his favorite shirt.

63. Burn his favorite stuffed animal.

64. Kick him where the sun don't shine if ya know what I mean...

65. RUN FOR YOU LIFE!!

66. Force him to drink Zuko's crappy tea.

67. Force him and Zuko to go fishing for father/son bonding time.

68. Tie him down, and then wax his back hair.

69. Ditto with his chest hair...if he has any...

70. Bitch slap him.

71. Beat him at Pai Sho.

72. Call him a sore loser.

73. Then, rub his loss in.

74. Loser! Loser! Loooooossseeeeerrrrr!

75. Ask him if he's really the Avatar's whore.

76. Tape a "Kick Me" sign to his back.

77. Tape a bullseye to his butt.

78. Spike all his drinks with cactus juice.

79. Asslord! Asslord!Where for art thou Asslord?

80. Kneel before him, saying, "O Asslord, your plans to kill the Avatar have failed...for the thousandth time...man, you're a loser!"

81. How'd you EVER have kids with a face like that?!

82. I have never seen a straight man with a pony tail, long hair, perfectly manicured nails, and as big a wuss as you are.

83. Force him to sing, "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun!"

84. Mumble incoherent things whenever you're near him.

85. Ask him where he got the nose job. Say whoever did it should be shot.

86. Fill his room with Avatar action figures.

87. Read his diary aloud to the entire Fire Nation.

88. Then the Water Tribes...

89. Earth Kingdom...

90. Then, publish it on Fanfiction.

91. Sell it on Ebay.

92. After every sentence, you or someone else says, say, "And Agni save the Avatar! Amen."

93. Sign him up for anger management classes.

94. Recite Dr. Suess.

95. Play broadway musicals.

96. Whenever he's in a very important meeting, loudly say, "Jet called. He said the date was off, but he still loves his Fireass."

97. Then say, "Oh, and the tests are in, you really are pregnant with Jet's child."

98. Every time he walks by you, whisper, "Gorgonzola Cheese."

99. When he's flirting with some poor helpless soul, say, "Asslord! Did you cut the cheese again?!"

100. Tell him you know his secret obsession with Furbies.

101. Repeat steps 1-100 for the rest of ever. **EVER!!!!**

* * *

**a/n: Rose0404: -still running from Zuko-**

**Ozai: -chases Rose0404 as well-**

**Rose0404: Agni help me! Oh, and every time you don't review, Zuko does something stupid...hmm, maybe that's why he's such an ass...**

**Zuko: Why you peasant! How dare you talk about me like that!**

**Rose0404: By opening my mouth, moving my tongue, and forming syllables, which then become words and sentences.**

**Zuko: -growls- That's not what I meant!**

**Ozai: DIE!!!**

**Rose0404: Aaaah! -runs faster-**


	3. Pissing off the bitch I mean, Azula!

101 Ways to Annoy Azula

Call her Bitch Queen.

Call her Psycho.

Rub it in that she can't firebend.

Snicker quietly whenever you see her.

Set her up with Jet. What?! They're both psycho...

Set her up with Aang.

Set her up with Zuko. (YUCK!)

Flick food in her face.

Tell her how pathetic she really is.

**Only yell, "I can't believe it's not butter!" for an entire day.**

Force her to go on a vacation to Disneyland

**Be peppy. "Hi! I'm Peppy Paige, and we're gonna be the bestest friends EVER!!"**

Sell her on Ebay

Stick a "Kick Me. Hard!" on her back.

Sign her up for Bitch Management classes.

**Tell all the nobility Azula is going through puberty at the age of 19. (I have no idea how old she really is...)**

**Don't answer any questions afterward unless they're sure to embarrass.**

**Yell fire while she's bathing.**

Whenever she's talking to someone important, loudly say, "The pregnacy tests are in. You really are pregnant."

Then add, "Guess you really shouldn't have been such a kiss ass to Asslord..."

RUN!!!

**Narrate her every move.**

**Speak to her only in third person.**

Speak to her in German.

Dye her bathing water blue.

"I dub thee, Bitch Queen, a smurf."

Give her AzulaxZuko fics for her birthday.

Force her to read them. Dunno how...

**Whenever you see her, yell, "STALKER!!!" and run away.**

Every time she eats soup yell, "Cambells, chicken noodles, possibilities!"

Make moose calls during important war meetings.

Make them in her ear.

Lead a protest against her existence.

Celebrate "Azula's a Bitch Day."

With a parade.

Through the palace.

Put her hand in cold water while she sleeps.

Lock her in a utility closet with Jet.

Lock her in a utility closet with Zuko.

Lock her in a utility closet with Aang. (Note: This may result in death for Aang...)

Dye all her clothes pink.

Add laces and frills.

Ask her how many sex changes she's had so far.

Talk to her only in baby talk. (ie: Who's a nasty wittle bitch? You are! You are!)

Put green dye in her shampoo bottle right before a ball.

Then, give her acne-inducing cream.

Next, cut out the back of her special, new dress.

Go to the ball, and laugh your ass off.

Run like hell! I mean RUN!!

Go to a room on the third floor with a window. Wait until she passes beneath it, then egg her.

Blame it on the flying llamas.

Say, "Look! I just saw one now!" then, RUN AWAY!!

Sign her up for a needle point class.

Tell Zhao that she thinks he's a total hunk!

Set them up on a date without her knowledge.

Tie her to a chair, then force her to listen to "rap polka."

Leave her there for a few hours, days, moths, years...

Throw her a surprise birthday party.

A Disney Princesses Party.

Invite all the Disney Princesses.

Make sure there's lots of girly, pink, happy decorations.

Give her a theme song.

Make it Barney's "I Love You!" song.

Sing it whenever you see her.

The next time she says something bitchy, retort with, "You really need to kick that nasty habit of breathing."

Give her a medal for breaking the bitchy record.

Make it a national holiday...(see steps 34-36.)

Sign her up to be one of those chicks in rap videos.

Tell everyone she's secretly a prostitute.

And that at night she puts on her black, spandex outfit, plastic go-go boots, carries a whip, and goes to nightclubs.

Give her the address of a local nightclub, and say rebels are conspiring against her.

Tell her to blend in, she has to go undercover. (see step 70.)

Bring all the generals, etc. to the said nightclub.

Laugh at their reactions to seeing Azula aka Catwoman!!

Run. You know the drill.

Fill her room with Zuko action figures.

Steal all the towels.

Then, tell her the Avatar was seen outside her door while she's bathing.

Search her room for happy pills.

When you find them, sell them them to the highest bidder.

Publish her diary.

Use earthbending to trip her.

Into a conveniently placed mud hole...

Then, nickname her Clutzula.

Pour water on her when she's wearing white.

Shout, "O.M.F.G! BESTEST BUDDIES!!" whenever you see her.

Sing the Dora the Explorer theme song off key all day.

Whenever she turns around, be right behind her, like in horror movies.

Stalk her really, really badly.

Deny it when she confronts you.

Ask her if she's been sleeping well when she persists.

When she loses her temper, (if you're still alive) tsk, and say, "Temper, temper!"

Refuse to call her anything but Sparky.

Except for Bitch Queen. (see step 1)

Give her light bulbs for Christmas.

Ask if she can make them work.

Throw popcorn at her.

Blame it on your invisible friend that only you can see.

Proceed to punish you invisible friend.

When she says there's no one there, look at her like she's crazy.

Repeat steps 1-100 _**FOREVER!**_ _**FOREVER! **_**FOREVER! **FOREVER! Forever! Forever...

**a/n: Rose0404: OZAI KILLED MY MUSE!! So I kinda borrowed a few things, they're the ones in bold...But he ghost came back and killed him. Oh, and she gave Zuko a cookie too, so he's happy.**

**Zuko: -munch munch-**

**Rose0404: Yeah, I changed the title. Again. I'm SO fickle...**

**Azula: WHAT DO YOU MEAN, BITCH QUEEN?!**

**Rose0404: Ummm...well, you see...thing is...CRAP!! -runs like hell- Zuko! Save me!**

**Zuko: Hell no. I'm eating my cookie. -munch munch-**

**Rose0404: Oh, wait! I'm the author. I can do whatever I want...**

**Azula: -poofs away-**

**Zuko and Rose0404: YAY!! SHE'S GONE!!**

**Rose0404's muse: If you don't review, Appa will eat Zuko...**

**Zuko: APPA WILL DO _WHAT_?!**


End file.
